


go play your video games

by a_slumbering_hime (nap_princess)



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humour, Video Game AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 09:51:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17620205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nap_princess/pseuds/a_slumbering_hime
Summary: "The merchant! REALLY?" Natsu screamed, fighting for his life as he waved his spear in the air and hid behind his shield. "The merchant is the final boss?"– Team Natsu and friends, stuck in virtual video game world AU but really, really dumbed down





	go play your video games

**go play your video games**

* * *

"The merchant?! REALLY?!" Natsu screamed, fighting for his life as he waved his spear in the air like the character Drago Bludvist from How to Train Your Dragon and hid behind his shield. "The merchant is  **the final boss**?!"

"We get it, Natsu! You hate the plot twist! You hate the fact that everything we've sold to him is used as his weapons!" Lucy yelled back as fought and Erza let out a war cry and body slams herself into a living-dead-zombie.

"Do you know what I've sold to this man? A necromancy skill book and 150 fruit cakes!" Natsu shouted, getting a face full of fruit cake. And he  **hates**  fruit cake. Who even likes that stuff?

Meanwhile, Gray attempted to stand up and help his teammates only to slip on icing, pulling Juvia along with him.

"This is not the time, Gray-sama!" Juvia scolded as she fired a badly aimed arrow at a zombie. She was lucky to have it hit its target. It was a small victory too because it was her last arrow.

Gray growled, " _Woman_ , I swear – DUCK!"

And a legit duck flew their way. Only, it  **wasn't**   _a normal duck_. That duck was wearing  _battle ready armour_  and it was just fucking ridiculous!

"I hate this world!" Gray said, quickly grabbing Juvia and rolling out of the way just in time.

"Well, who's fault is it that we're stuck here?!" Lucy said sarcastically like they all didn't know and everyone immediately glared at the person in question.

Amazingly enough, it wasn't Natsu. It was Gajeel.

"You just  _had_  to touch it!" Natsu stabbed.

Gajeel threw his hands up in the air, "I said I was sorry!"

"And we said it looked like a Jumanji death trap! But did you listen? Nooo!"

They've been stuck in this virtual world for far  **too long**. Erza's wearing armour that's 'plus 20 defence' but looks like a Goddamn bra, Gray spent thousands of jewels on a satchel that can only hold ten items because there was no such things as pockets in this world and Lucy had to shove an entire questionable herb into her mouth just to heal from tripping over a dumb rock once. Plus, do you know how stupid all the side quests are? Do you know how many fucking pine cones they had to look for?! DO YOU?! 300. Each!

"Well, we're gonna fix it!" Gajeel bit back, getting creamed in the face with a fruit cake. Fucking fruit cake! Tastes like –

"How?!" Gray asked, swinging his hammer wildly. "I only have 3 copies of XXX in my satchel!" (the other 7 spaces were storing the 2, 100 pine cones. 300 pine cones were seen as 1 item. They couldn't get rid of it because even the merchant didn't want it) "I don't have any more weapons besides this inaccurate hammer!"

"By defeating the villain, of course!" Erza said and fought hard, that stupid bra armour was really working.

"But we're –"

"We're already facing the final boss! We're so close, don't give up!" Erza yelled, pulling a hero speech out of thin air. But the fact was true, the final boss music was playing in the background and all six of them were stuck in this one zone. It wasn't like they could go anywhere.

"How long until Levy-san revives herself?" Juvia asked, now throwing wooden plates as far as she can. It hit a zombie no matter how lame her throw was. She made sure she increased her accuracy skills.

"I don't know? Three minutes?" Lucy answered, killing a zombie only for another one to pop out of the ground.

Gray wanted to slap his forehead. "What?! We need her!"

Lucy argued, "She ran out of jewels, okay? She can't buy a new life!"

Gajeel yelled, "This is bullshit!" while Natsu got hit in the head with a rusty mug.

"You fiend!" Erza shouted and the final boss merchant lets out an evil laugh.

"Hand it over!" Juvia yelled, grabbing whatever was in Gray's satchel and throwing it as far as possible. It wobbled in the air but that didn't stop Juvia, she furiously grabbing more copies of XXX and throwing it.

Amazingly, all three books landed a hit at the final boss. It damaged his health bar well enough to stop the necromancy.

"Wait –!" The merchant said, eyes wide open.

"Oh My God, it's a miracle! Marry me, Juvia!" Lucy squealed.

"What?! No! Juvia loves – " Juvia sputtered then said, "Just give Juvia stuff to throw!"

"Here, have my 300 pine cones!"

And 2, 100 pine cones later, the final boss was finally dead, everyone's skin was clear, the villagers' crops were thriving, every poor students' grades were up and their student loans were paid and sun was shining.

"We did it!" Gajeel cheered.

"Actually, Juvia did it." Natsu corrected, sweeping mostly everyone in a group hug.

"Shut your face!"

"Who cares?! We defeated the bad guy! We can finally go home, you guys!" Lucy said and cried. Actually cried.

Erza was just about to raise her sword in the air and make a declaration speech when their seventh member finally revived herself.

"I'm here! I'm here, you guys!" Levy's voice cried and everyone turned around at the same time to stare at the short girl. "Wait," Levy looked around. "You killed the boss without me?"

"Yeah, thanks a lot for your help." Gajeel said dryly.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and Levy frowned before picking up a fruitcake and aiming it at his face. Sadly, it missed and hit Natsu instead. His health bar went lower than anyone would have expected and he. fucking. died.

"Levy-san!" Juvia gasped. "You murderer!" Juvia accuses like she hadn't just single-handedly killed the final boss.

"I didn't mean to!" Levy defended herself.

"Now we have to wait at least half an hour for Natsu to revive!" Even Erza groaned.

"I was holding in my pee this entire time! And now I have to wait 30 more minutes!" Lucy cried.

"I really hate this place!" Gray yelled to the sky and then kicked a rock. It sailed across the air before hitting a virtual tree and rebutting, hitting Gajeel now in the face.

Everyone stared in shock because Gajeel too, died.

"Lucy, I'm sorry, but you may have to hold your pee in for an hour,"

"Shut up, Gray."

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I still don't know what I'm doing but I don't care.
> 
> – 12 July 2018


End file.
